Is it really necessary to give a person a cold when they're pregnant? I mean, come on! We can't take cold medicine! I can't take anything for my sinuses, or the cough that's killing me. "Oh but you can take Tylenol!" FORGET YOUR TYLENOL! I can't take Tylenol cold so what's the point? Ugh, I don't mean to sit and bitch but this really isn't fair. My nose is plug and won't let air in to save my life - yet it's running down the back of my throat and making me cough. Making my throat hurt like hell and to top it off I can't get warm and I'm running a fever. This. Just. Sucks.
Oh well.
Anyways! I haven't posted in a few days, I'm sorry. Haven't had the energy to do so. I haven't even really had the energy.
Not much has gone on this week. Not much is going well with Chris either. No surprise there. Told me yesterday morning that he was going to nap before work, then later on that after noon tells me how fun the bbq is and that he's glad he has the day off. Wait, what? I was thoroughly confused and he tried telling me "Well I told you this morning what was going on." so I read through my text messages thinking that maybe I was sleepy and misread or forgot. I wasn't. So he right away corrects himself and appologizes. Really? Are you lying to me, or just being stupid? I give up.
In other news, cleaned up my msn list. Very proud of myself. :)
Speaking of msn, one of my friends asks how the baby is doing any everything every time we talk, then when I answer she gets all kinds of mopey and shit like she depressed it's going well or something. I realize she can't have kids, her heart wouldn't take it and her body is too small for it also, but really? If my answer is going to ruin the rest of our conversation then don't ask! It's not a hard thing to do.
Then there's another friend of mine who has a pregnancy scare every time one of her friends get pregnant. Really? I don't even know where to begin with this one! If you don't want kids, then use protection and get on birth control. That's what I did up until I quit having sex. Sadly, I wish I would have stayed on the birth control anyways, but that is neither here nor there. I was always careful and never slept around. If we were dating and I loved you, you got the golden ticket. If not, you didn't. There were only three guys I ever slept with that I wasn't dating and I was in love with one of them (My best friend Jack), loved one, and the other was just a poor choice. But I never wanted to be one of those moms who didn't know the father of my baby. Right now I wish I didn't know. Fuck, I'd be happy if it was Jack's! At least then I know it would have a good father figure in it's life.
What about Chris?
What about him? He can't even be supportive now. How can I expect him to be there for me when I literally have no time to be online for him and am getting no sleep during the first few months? I don't expect this relationship to out live the pregnancy by much. He tells me how his ex wanted nothing to do with him after she got pregnant and really didn't after she had the baby. And I'm like.. I'm trying! I'm here! I show that I care. WTF is your issue?! "Well I'm just scared to get too close" Little late for that, don't ya think? And don't even get me started on being scared.
How am I supposed to open up when you seem really flaky right now and talk about how you're thinking of bailing? What about that should make me want to try? Cause from the sounds of things you're the one with an issue, don't you think you should try working on it instead of projecting your problems onto me and making me seem like the issue? It's very frustrating. And he's constantly bringing up how he isn't getting any but that it's ok. If it were ok, he'd quit bringing it up. Maybe if I hadn't have been raped I'd want to be touched. But then again, I also wouldn't be in this situation.
But I'm not about to blame the baby or make it sound like the baby's fault. I don't blame it on bit. He's the one who can't man up now, and he's the reason I'm pregnant. (Two different he's btw.)
Anyways, I think I'm done ranting for now, I'm starving!!! :D YAY CEREAL! <3
YUCK i hope you feel better soon! If i were sick i'd have stayed far away from you til I got better. /srsly
ReplyDeleteAnd well...Chris seems like he's a bigger baby than the bun in your oven is. I've said it before and I'll do by best to hold my tongue in the future, but I don't like him. /shot
As far as your friend on msn who seems upset that things are going well? fuck them. It's not right. That person will just end up bitter and jealous. =/
Your friend with the pregnancy scares...i'm just laughing my ass off at that one XDD sorry. LOL
Hey Starkeyy <3
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to rest and get better, but mom and dad are being particularly lazy today and having me do all kinds of shit for them. Like taking out their dog who just wants to go play in the grass.
To be honest, that's how I feel about him lately also. But the minute I get emotional I'm the immature one. He never says it outright, but he definitely implies it. I'm wanting to beat him more and more. He's still mopey and brooding about my not giving him the link to my blog. The minute I post a status on msn that he think even is remotely negative about him he tells me not to give him any attitude. They're almost never about him though.
I pretty much told her to quit asking if she was going to be so immature about things. She hasn't messaged me in two days. xD
And trust me, I'm laughing about the pregnancy scare also.
Bleh he seems paranoid, nuff said.
ReplyDeleteFor your friend who can't have kids, i do know it's hard to talk to someone who's pregnant. I've had 2 miscarriages myself, and I will be honest you're the first pregnant person I've actually been able to talk to without feeling depressed. But if I would never have been negative towards you if i were unable to be happy for you and your baby, i just wouldn't bring it up. Just as i never brought it up with other pregnant people in the past.
I hope your msn friend either stays away, or works around her issues, it's not your fault.
I hope you can rest tomorrow C:
Thanks Starkeyy, I can understand it being hard to talk about certain things or be around people that are very open about those things and I'm very glad that talking to me about that stuff doesn't bother you. If there ever comes a time where it does, please let me know. I won't be offended. <3
ReplyDeleteTomorrow should be a fairly chill day. Going to Duluth with a friend so she can pick up her wedding dress and so I can find a MoH dress. ^_^ I'll be 8 months along when I wear it, but whatever. Got have something funny at any shindig, right? :D
Thanks. You're easy to talk to c: There's another person on ernya who just found out they're pregnant...and it makes me want to avoid the fuck out of them....but you, i'm good with c:
ReplyDeleteYou're special ^^
YAY! -dances around- ^_^ That's why you're my babymomma <3
ReplyDelete