Bare with me, this was taken from my thread on Ernya.com.
January 30th, 2012
I'm pregnant. Not by choice. The sex wasn't by choice. I was passed out drunk and he had his fun. Now I find out I'm little over a month pregnant. I'm scared, terrified. The only great thing I see right now is the fact that I still have Christopher, and that he understands it didn't happen by my choice. I just don't know what to do.
I got all my vitamins and prenatals I'm going to need and books. Just... ugh. T_T
(Someone mentioned that I was oddly calm and asked if I had spoken to the father yet. This was my reply)
I am calm, now. And I told him and all he really had to say was that it was my fault and not to talk to him until it was born and I had a DNA test done. It can't be anyone elses because I haven't had sex with anyone in months. Aside from the night I blacked out apparently. I'm doing my best to be calm because I don't want to stress out my baby.
(There was much discussion further on in the thread, if you wish to read it all be my guest.
http://www.ernya.com/the-biggest-news-update-on-3-30-12-t180500.html
I am updating that thread every month, where my blog will be updated more frequently.)
Update from the mommy-to-be: (February 29,2012)
I am 9 weeks pregnant as of this week and due on October 1st.
Well, baby is doing good. :) The normal size and everything so far. She makes me really sick though, thank God for anti-nausea meds! My OB gave me little berry flavored disolvables, they have a HORRID after taste, but work fast so I can't really complain.
I had my first OB appointment last Thursday, they tested for anything I could have gotten from him, so far I only have my pee test back though. In which they found the Strep virus, in my pee?! It thought it was weird. So I'm on antibiotics for five days. And I got to see baby on Monday!!! My mom and best friend, Jack, went with me and it was really good. I have baby's first pictures already on my thumb tack board beside my bed.
Things aren't good with Christopher, we're struggling pretty bad. I think part of it is because he is still so far away from me (12 hours or so) and I have days where I can't talk to him cause I'm busy the whole day taking care of baby stuff, or I'm sleeping cause she makes me so tired. He says his ex never slept so much when she was pregnant and all I had to say to that was "Your ex didn't have Multiple Sclerosis on top of being pregnant." I normally take meds for the drowsiness caused by the MS but now I can't and the baby causes even more drowsiness.
So it's been a bit of a struggle. He gets jealous easily over the baby coming first and I really don't know what to do right now. I'd probably be stressed as all hell without my two best friends. Right now I'm looking forward to see the gender in two months and already have names picked out. Girl: Liliana Rose. Boy: Zachary Micheal. :)
As far as pressing charges go, they went no where. His friends lied for him stating that I was coherent and it was consensual. Whatever, he's out of my life. If he ever comes near me I'll be the one causing permanent damage this time, and he knows that.
Update from the mommy-to-be: (March 30,2012)
Well, my little miracle is now 13 weeks and 4 days old. You know what that means. Yup! Out of my first trimester! We are into month 4 and I am still praying for morning sickness to go away. I found out last week that at my last ultrasound they discovered that the baby is sitting on a pocket of blood, so if I start bleeding I have to go into the ER immediately. No questions about it. Also, if my cramping gets really bad I also have to go in. Other than that baby is very healthy and growing at the rate she's supposed to be. :) All my blood levels are where they're supposed to be, including my iron! The only other thing I found out was that I apparently have cysts on my ovaries, which they discovered at my ultrasound. Honestly, I could read that screen if my life depended upon it. Also, at my last OB visit (last week) the baby's heart rate was at 133 beats per minute, right where it should be. =3 My next appointment is at the end of April and my ultrasound to figure out the gender is shortly after that. Have to be 20 weeks to see the gender sadly.
In other news, I have found out the the guy who did this had the STD called HPV. It's not something super serious, they estimate over half the US population has it. However, at this point it was insult added to injury really. It cannot be cured, your body can get rid of it on its own - but only if you have a good immune system. It's currently not in my blood stream, so baby is safe. The warts can only be removed with the use of liquid nitrogen. OUCH! After the baby is born I can use a topical cream though, which as far as I'm concerned, seems WAY less painful!
As far as Chris an I are going... things are hard; and complicated. He's gets really jealous of the baby and complains he isn't getting enough attention, but rarely gives attention to me. We don't go a day without an argument or dispute of some sort and it's really getting hard. For the first time I'm questioning whether or not it's worth it anymore. I should be allowed to take time for myself, and my baby, without worrying about how he's going to react or how it will upset him. I just don't know anymore. I'm going to see how things go in the next month before I make a decision.
I'll update again next month after my baby appointment! <3
